Local Berlin 5/28/08

I awoke to the sound of Nancy opening the window in the living room. I asked her what time it was. "It's almost noon," she replied looking at her watch, "You slept like a hybernating bear last night." It was so nice to just sleep. I hadn't gotten a lot of sleep the last ouple days, so I suppose as soon as I was finally able to, I just totally rebooted. I felt great though, after getting up. I felt a new swarm of energy fall over by whole body in waves. I felt rested. I joined Nancy in the kitchen for breakfast (well, lunch for her). I had a bowl of this new cereal I've never heard of before which had corn flakes, oats, and bits of chocolate mixed all in together, and it tasted amazing. Everything felt better, the food tasted better, even the weather outside was clear and sunny. It was the start of a wonderful day.

When I'd gotten myself ready, Nancy took me out into the city to go exploring. We travelled by metro into the main center and began walking around through the different parts. We passed by some of the things Denis and I rode passed on our bike ride (which I was still a little sore from), but I got a little more detailed tour of it all this time around. We found the Holocaust Memorial site, and walked through the museum and visitor's center underneath the memorial. The grounds of the memorial are made up of thousands of rectangular blocks of stone. They're varied at different hights, and they allow you to walk through this vast jungle of blocks which becomes more of a maze the further in you go. Niether Nancy nor I could really figure out the symbolizm that the stone blocks represent, but it was interesting that the further in, the ground begins to slope downward and the blocks get higher and higher. Then at the very bottom, buried by the massive stone pillars is the visitor's center. All along the blocks, you see kids hanging out and having picknics sitting up ontop of them. You're not suppose to do that, and they have actual hired security to walk around and tell people not to, but it does seem to me like they should have expected something like that in the designs for the memorial. If you fill a huge area of land with huge stone blocks, and allow people to walk through them, odds are that people will want to sit and climb on them.

Inside the visitor's center were halls you could walk through which were lined with plaques forming a timeline of the beginning of the atrocities, starting in 1939 and ending in 1945. It was a very sollumn sort of walk as you tread through pictures, and recovered letters from victims often executed the next day. In one room they have on display, a history of particular families from all over Europe who were all but desimated by the genocide of the jews. One jewish man in Jerusalem, worked for years (and is still working) trying to collect the history, and stories from all the 6 million jews which were murdered during the holocaust, and they have a database at the end of the center where you can look up any particular individual and read about them, and what happened to them. It was definately eye opening, and quite a sight to see in the midst of Berlin.

Berlin is certainly one of those places which you can tell right away is carrying a lot of guilt and remorse for things done in the past. I talked with nancy a little bit about that, and she agreed with me and told me that it seems to be that way with prettymuch all of Germany. People in Germany don't call themselves Germans. There's no pride for their country anymore. Instead they put their pride in the town that they're from. Here in Berlin they call themselves Berliners, and in Neuemberg they'd call themselves Neumbergers and so on. It's a whole country walking on eggshells, living in daily rememberance of the shame certain individuals brought onto their country time and time again. Because of that, the new government seems to have even overcompensated in making sure none of the same mistakes are revisited. The German government now has both a president and a cancellor who make every dicision together, and either one of them can be voted out of office at anytime by a majority vote of the people. Germany is one of the leading countries of the whole "Green movement" to protect the environment. They've set strict regulations for car manufacturers on the amount of carbons allowed to be exhausted into the atmosphere by the engine. Any car which does not meet their requirements cannot be sold or driven within the city. There are strict laws in advertising making sure the people are not seduced or mislead in anyway. It's become illegal to have any kind of propoganda urging people toward your cause without presenting fact-based arguements. The Nazi party has all but disappeared (or at least reformed themselves. They're now called something completely different). It's illegal to be a part of any Nazi group, or KKK, basically any group which hates another. Rallys and meetings for these groups are not allowed at all in Berlin. They have a Social Democracy in Germany now, similar to Canada which seems to be working out pretty well for them. I've actually become a pretty big supporter of Social Democracy since my travels to Europe. It seems to me to be the most sure way to ensure that everyone gets what they need. It's a lot more beurocratic, and it takes a lot longer to get things approved especially regarding controversial subjects where the lines are split pretty evenly, but that system seems less driven by money and power, and more by integrity and mutual understanding.

When we'd seen some more of the sights of Berlin, I followed Nancy around to do some shopping to restock the kitchen with food. Friday night was Denis' birthday, and they'd planned to have the whole family over for dinner. They needed a lot of food to feed this huge party of relatives whom I've been told are a big crowd of loud, and loving individuals. It seemed like a lot of fun and reminded me of how I describe my family at parties, so I did what I could to help them prepare. We walked over through a couple supermarkets, and a giant mall where, on the top floor, we saw a giant bell (almost as tall as I am) made entirely of solid chocolate. We also picked up a bunch of meat for dinner tonight, so that they could show me how Berliners barbecue their sausage. They don't have shopping bags in Germany, so you have to bring your own from home, or other wise carry everything home yourself. The both of us carried back arms full of groceries onto the subway as we attempted to haul everything back to the apartment.

For dinner, the 3 of us had a feast of German sausages barbecued over a tiny electric grill on their balcony. Nancy, trying to buy some particular sausage that Denis really liked, accidently bought Elk sausage. We deliberated over eating it, wondering what it would taste like, but when we finally tried it we ended up liking it a lot. Denis introduced me to this totally amazing spicy mustard, which was maybe the highlight of the meal for me. It was so spicy it made your eyes water, but had a taste so full and sweet that you couldn't stop eating it. It was to die for, and it came in a tube like toothpaste. I hope to one day return to Berlin with a huge sack and smuggle a whole bunch back with me.

Our conversation by the end of the night turned, once again to sex. I don't know why conversations with young people always head in that direction, but I think the way it started was that I was curious about what their parents thought of them living together without being married. They looked at me like they knew this question was going to come up at some point, me being an american from the suburbs of California. Nancy, being from California herself, lead the discussion with me about what the differences are between the way this arrangement is looked at from back home, and how it looks from here. In Germany, a couple doesn't normally start thinking about marraige until long after the two have been living together. To us back home, that's sort of a new-age sexual revolution sort of thing, and we often call it "living in sin" (some more jokingly than others). However, to Germans (and most other cultures in Europe it seems) it's been that way for ever and ever. They strongly believe that who a person is sexually is a very importaint part of who they are in every other way. When young children in Germany are taught about the birds and the bees, they're taught that living together is part of finding out about the person you're going to be with the rest of your life, and when they look for compatability, sexual compatability is just as importaint as everything else. The talk continued, and Nancy told me about when she met Denis, and at one point told him she was planning to wait until marraige to have sex. Denis looked at her with bewilderment in his eyes, and very confused he said "...why?" She remembered, she had a really hard time coming up with an answer. Why exactly do we wait? I know the easy answers: Because it's what God said to do; because it makes the experience more meaningful; because it connects you more closely as a couple giving yourself fully to the one you'll be with forever. But if you really look into most of those questions, I think you find that the answer really boils down to: That's what we were culturally taught. Our devorce rate is sickeningly high in the US, particularly among christians who wait till marraige to have sex, so the answer is definately not that it draws you closer as a couple. A lot of people get married in the US so that they don't feel bad about having sex. Is that a little silly to anyone else? I don't know, I'm speaking with a bias because I too have felt so pressured NOT to have sex, because I'm so worried about the relationships I may hurt with the people who want me to wait. I'm not saying either that I don't want to wait. Rushing into something like that, cultural or not is never a good idea and I know that very well. Also, religiously, faithfully if that is what God told his followers to do (and I still have a hard time believing that to be true), I know Paul said it and several other men of God professing the truth, but if that is God's will then there is good reason to heed it. I have trouble matching up everything we, as christians, beleive regarding sex though, often due to the amount of times the rules have bent or changed due to the times and curltures that mix. I've never known God to request his people to act against their instincts. Acting against impulses, yes. Fleeting urges, and reactions of fear or anger have their roots in sin. However insticts, specifically designed human traits have always up to this particular topic, been regarded as favorable in the Lord's eyes. This brings me back to intentions. Intentions, I believe are what matter in the eyes of God. Where a person's heart lies in an action is what makes a deed holy or sinful. Those who mean to decieve or take advantage are not doing the right thing. Whereas those who are pure in intention, genuine and honest are blessed. What's left is what is judged by the culture you're a part of. Even a close friend cannot always know your heart, so rules were made to encompass a wide variety of sins, and protect the majority. These rules don't always apply, and can often work as a hinderance to those who are just having trouble finding their place in society. These frustrated people are usually the ones who rebel against the system, and then the system changes again.

In my experience with cultures, the good parts of human nature: Love, compassion, generocity, understanding; are the ones which hold standard throughout different groups of people. The bad ones: Lust, greed, hate; vary dramatically between cultures depending on what is learned and acceptable in a society. When people are taught that something they greatly value (most often something which is ok in a different culture) is "bad", they are more inclined to give into hating those who have what they want. Then they teach their children that those other people are "bad" people because they indulge in an act which is forbidden to you by the ones you care about. Never have I seen a culture of murderers, or of theives or liers. I've seen countries who's moral fiber is intact, but who look at things very differently. I've seen countries where a woman can't show her face because it's sexually immoral, and then another country where buying prostitutes from windows off the street it totally acceptable. So where do you draw the line, really? Who's to say what's right and wrong, especially regarding sex? What does God say about that? Paul is not God, and neither am I. Paul and I are on the same level as human beings and followers of christ. In any case the verdict over here, in my experience seems to be that the rules of sex are much more cultural than religious or anything else. That may not be a fact, but that's the view from my biased standpoint.

The ending conclusion to our conversation left me with the first relieving feeling I've ever had in regards to that topic. The conclusion was this: Let yourself be who you are. Be smart, use common sense, and don't let yourself feel pressured either way. When it's right, you'll know it.

I slept a little less troubled that night.