The Morning After/Exploring London

I woke up this morning relieved to find that I hadn't had any sort of a hangover from the night before. Emily said it was proabably due to the fact that I ate something before going to bed, or maybe I'm just one of those people who just don't get hangovers. Wouldn't THAT be wonderful? That would be one less problem to deal with, although it seems contrary to my medical history because in past experience anything that can go wrong, will. But I'm grateful to say that I felt good and healthy all day today.

In the morning till early afternoon, Ryan's flatmate Tom and his friends from his film school were out filming a film project which Ryan was a part of, so they came and went as I started the morning, took a shower and all that. At one point they asked me to stand in as an extra during one scene where I walk by Ryan annoyed that his shoes are squeaking. We shot the scene and I put on my best annoyed and disgusted face, and it was done and in the can. After Tom and his friends had finished their filming for the day, Ryan and I went to explore around the city a little. We walked all around Piccadilly Circus and by all the different theatres where different shows were playing around Leicester Square. Also from where we were I could see a little of Big Ben and Parliment, as well as the London Eye and Westminter Abby, but we're going to actually go visit those places at a later time, some of which tomorrow. Ryan was trying to find this specific place where you can buy theatre tickets at really discounted prices, but he was having trouble figure out where he had walked to before to find this place so we ended up walking in a huge circle until we finally found it about 3 blocks from where we originally were. It was worth it though because we did end up getting a good price for the theatre tickets. After buying the tickets we bought dinner from this really good pizza vendor that Ryan said was probably the best he's ever had. In all honesty the pizza was very good, but I don't know if I would venture so far as to say it was the best I'd ever had.

After dinner sometime later in the evening we went to Her Majesty's Theatre and saw the London performance of The Phantom of the Opera. Ryan and I both agreed that the performance was absolutely stunning. It may have been the best Phantom I've ever seen, and I will certainly venture to say that. Christine was not cast as a glorious opera singer like she usually is, but she had a really sweet, innocent sounding voice which I really liked, and she was an amazing actress. She really played up in this performance that the whole situation ultimately drives her insane. Both the Phantom and Christine's characters were played passionately maniacle with Raul as the calm between them and Christine's last grasp at sanity. It was different than any other performance the Phantom of the Opera I'd ever seen before (and I've seen quite a few). Both Ryan and I have seen the show 8 million times, but we were the whole time on the edge of our seats. The night really could not have gone any better. I got to see my favorite show performed to perfection in a beautiful city with a close friend. Life is pretty good here.

Really the most severe problems I face here are the demons I still have back home. Ryan talks a lot about High School and SOCSA (That's the theater department of my old high school back home, if some of you don't know), and he really seems to have kept a lot more ties with a lot more high school friends than I did. A lot of high school to me is still somewhat of a painful subject. I don't think Ryan knows or understands this, so when he talks I usually just listen. I really let a lot of women in my life get to me during my high school times...I still do now to be honest. That's always been my greatest downfall. Women have always seemed to influence my life in a major way. I give them too much power over me, especially the ones I really care about. During high school a lot women whom I cared deeply for treated me terribly, and I guess I never really got over it. When I remeniss about high school, I guess I just feel betrayed and used and I'd just like to run away from it all. But like I was talking to Ryan about over dinner tonight, people are not who they are in high school. Nobody knows how to care for and love someone at that point in their life. Even though most feelings of love I believe are legitamate at that time, no one has any idea what they're doing, and everyone's constantly changing. How could you possibly be a decent companion to someone when you don't even know yet what kind of person you are? That's really a lot of what this whole journey's about. What kind of person am I? I know what kind of person the people I love would like me to be. I'm not entirely sure that's not who I am, but I am sure that I don't know. There's a whole lot I don't like about my life, and who I think I am. If anything, the months leading up to this trip have been a perfect testament to that very point. All I know is that it feels really good to run away, but everytime I'm reminded of what I'm running from, my body starts to shake, and the pain comes back ten-fold. Why I can't let particular things go is still a mystery to me. One I hope to solve during the course of this journey.